Yes, Microsoft Access was a recalcitrant beast, but the first step is to turn the computer on

I've got the power! Psyche. I definitely don't

12BoC  On the fourth day of Christmas, the bork gods sent to me: one dead DB, petty angry user, flightless Windows signage, and a server they said had ceased to be. Welcome to the Twelve Borks of Christmas (12BoC): a collection of Register reader stories of amusing and frustrating tech sightings over the festive period.…

from The Register